Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Body Image
Today I am having a really rough time with my body image. When I got dressed this morning, I was wondering through the many pairs of jeans I have in my closet. I decided to wear a pair I hadn't worn for awhile. Well...they didn't fit. I got them up over my hips, but I couldn't button them. So I then tried another pair I hadn't worn in awhile. This pair used to be big on me so I thought it would be no problem. Well...I got them to fit and even button up. But after a few hours in them, I couldn't stand the pulling in the waist area so I changed to swear pants.
This is so frustrating. Like, I KNOW I am pregnant. I KNOW weight gain is part of this whole process. But I have such a hard time accepting this weight gain as part of MY body. I have a pair of maternity jeans, but I have yet to take the tags off. I know they will be a lot more comfortable, but I have a hard time accepting that I need them just yet. Especially because I really don't look pregnant yet. I just look like I have had a few too many donuts and my stomach is bloated. I really just want my belly to pop. The sooner I look pregnant, the sooner I will be able to accept that I don't fit into my clothes anymore. So needless to say, today has been full of tears.
Plus, last weekend I went running a couple times on the treadmill. Nothing super fast, I definitely slowed my pace, but I was feeling pretty good. However, since then, my left achilles tendon has been hurting. When you touch it, and then compare it to the right one, you can tell that it's really swollen. It also isn't moving fluidly, it feels like its catching as I point and flex my foot. It'a not killing me, but I know it will get worse if I don't rest it for awhile. Not being able to run right now is just adding to my body image issues. I'm icing it and using an ankle brace, so I hope it will heal quickly.
I am so fearful that once the baby is here, I won't be able to lose this weight I am gaining.
This is so frustrating. Like, I KNOW I am pregnant. I KNOW weight gain is part of this whole process. But I have such a hard time accepting this weight gain as part of MY body. I have a pair of maternity jeans, but I have yet to take the tags off. I know they will be a lot more comfortable, but I have a hard time accepting that I need them just yet. Especially because I really don't look pregnant yet. I just look like I have had a few too many donuts and my stomach is bloated. I really just want my belly to pop. The sooner I look pregnant, the sooner I will be able to accept that I don't fit into my clothes anymore. So needless to say, today has been full of tears.
Plus, last weekend I went running a couple times on the treadmill. Nothing super fast, I definitely slowed my pace, but I was feeling pretty good. However, since then, my left achilles tendon has been hurting. When you touch it, and then compare it to the right one, you can tell that it's really swollen. It also isn't moving fluidly, it feels like its catching as I point and flex my foot. It'a not killing me, but I know it will get worse if I don't rest it for awhile. Not being able to run right now is just adding to my body image issues. I'm icing it and using an ankle brace, so I hope it will heal quickly.
I am so fearful that once the baby is here, I won't be able to lose this weight I am gaining.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Another Doctor's Visit
Today I went to my 3rd pre-natal appointment. Andrew got to come to this one (he missed the 2nd one) which was awesome. Everything at the appointment was pretty standard, asked the doctor a bunch of questions and got to hear baby girl's heart beat. 146 beats per minute! Good and healthy!
I did have a moment at the beginning when I started to cry a bit before the doctor came into the exam room. I had just been weighed and saw I had gained a pound since my last appointment. I know, 1 pound in 4 weeks really isn't that big of a deal, but watching the scale constantly going up is starting to freak me out. Andrew was really sweet and supportive, I'm really glad that he was able to come to the appointment. I know he wont be able to come to every appointment, so hopefully I start getting used to the number on the scale going up.
So we have another appointment scheduled for 4 weeks, and then in 5 weeks we get to have another ultrasound, yay! This ultrasound would be the one where they determine the sex, but lucky us, we already know! This is the anatomy scan, and we should be able to see everything! Her little face, and nose, here tiny hands and feet. Ahh I can't wait to see what this baby girl is going to look like!
A couple nights ago I had a dream about her. Nothing really happened, I was just holding her, and she was smiling and giggling with these big blue eyes. It was awesome! I can't wait for that moment when I get to hold he for the first time. Still got about 6 months to go...hopefully time starts passing quicker! I've got a couple trips coming up, so I'm hoping that makes time go by faster.
I took my 14 weeks bumpie later than usual, so I am going to wait to post it with my 15 week bumpie.
Anyone have any tips of getting over the horrid weight gain? I know it's inevitable...but I can't help but getting caught up in it.
I did have a moment at the beginning when I started to cry a bit before the doctor came into the exam room. I had just been weighed and saw I had gained a pound since my last appointment. I know, 1 pound in 4 weeks really isn't that big of a deal, but watching the scale constantly going up is starting to freak me out. Andrew was really sweet and supportive, I'm really glad that he was able to come to the appointment. I know he wont be able to come to every appointment, so hopefully I start getting used to the number on the scale going up.
So we have another appointment scheduled for 4 weeks, and then in 5 weeks we get to have another ultrasound, yay! This ultrasound would be the one where they determine the sex, but lucky us, we already know! This is the anatomy scan, and we should be able to see everything! Her little face, and nose, here tiny hands and feet. Ahh I can't wait to see what this baby girl is going to look like!
A couple nights ago I had a dream about her. Nothing really happened, I was just holding her, and she was smiling and giggling with these big blue eyes. It was awesome! I can't wait for that moment when I get to hold he for the first time. Still got about 6 months to go...hopefully time starts passing quicker! I've got a couple trips coming up, so I'm hoping that makes time go by faster.
I took my 14 weeks bumpie later than usual, so I am going to wait to post it with my 15 week bumpie.
Anyone have any tips of getting over the horrid weight gain? I know it's inevitable...but I can't help but getting caught up in it.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Baby Announcement Pic, Gender Reveal, Genetic Testing
We finally took our baby announcement picture and posted it yesterday. Here it is!
I know I haven't announced this yet on here, and I don't really know why I am waiting to tell people, but we are having a GIRL! I found out a little over a week ago when I received the results of some genetic testing (which BTW, all of that testing came back negative :-) ). It's amazing that we were able to find out so early!
I have to say, I would have been just as happy if I found out it was a boy, all I want is a healthy baby. But knowing that it is a girl is a huge relief. If it had been a boy, there could have been a chance it would have had DMD (Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, what my older brother Ryan had). Over the course of 2014, I underwent several genetic tests to find out if I was a carrier of DMD. The tests came back inconclusive because when they tested Ryan's DNA (yes they still had it!) they couldn't even find the genetic mutation of DMD in him. This was SUPER strange (and FRUSTRATING!) because we KNEW he had it! DMD is an X-linked disorder, so it is only seen in boys because they don't have another "good X" to over-power the "bad X". If I am a carrier, I wouldn't show any symptoms because I am a girl.
Since they couldn't find the Duchenne in Ryan, comparing his DNA to my DNA didn't turn up anything because they didn't know what the heck they were looking for. All I know is that I have the same X-chromosome as Ryan did. We obviously know there was a mutation somewhere along the line of our family because before Ryan there was no family history of DMD. If I am a carrier of DMD, and if I were to have a boy, there would be a 50% chance he would have DMD (if he got my "bad" x-chromosome"). I wouldn't be able to test if the baby had DMD until birth, so I am sure it would have been a very long and stressful pregnancy waiting to find out. Now that I know it's a girl, a bunch of weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Still working on the name, have some choices lined up but are always up for suggestions. I have a feeling I am not going to be able to decide on a name until I meet her!
We posted the picture just by itself with no words and no caption. I like to make people think and not just straight out blast them with "We are having a baby!" To my surprise, a lot of people got it! It's one of those pictures, that if you are not paying attention, you could just scroll right past it and think we are just baking a tiny loaf of bread.
I know I haven't announced this yet on here, and I don't really know why I am waiting to tell people, but we are having a GIRL! I found out a little over a week ago when I received the results of some genetic testing (which BTW, all of that testing came back negative :-) ). It's amazing that we were able to find out so early!
I have to say, I would have been just as happy if I found out it was a boy, all I want is a healthy baby. But knowing that it is a girl is a huge relief. If it had been a boy, there could have been a chance it would have had DMD (Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, what my older brother Ryan had). Over the course of 2014, I underwent several genetic tests to find out if I was a carrier of DMD. The tests came back inconclusive because when they tested Ryan's DNA (yes they still had it!) they couldn't even find the genetic mutation of DMD in him. This was SUPER strange (and FRUSTRATING!) because we KNEW he had it! DMD is an X-linked disorder, so it is only seen in boys because they don't have another "good X" to over-power the "bad X". If I am a carrier, I wouldn't show any symptoms because I am a girl.
Since they couldn't find the Duchenne in Ryan, comparing his DNA to my DNA didn't turn up anything because they didn't know what the heck they were looking for. All I know is that I have the same X-chromosome as Ryan did. We obviously know there was a mutation somewhere along the line of our family because before Ryan there was no family history of DMD. If I am a carrier of DMD, and if I were to have a boy, there would be a 50% chance he would have DMD (if he got my "bad" x-chromosome"). I wouldn't be able to test if the baby had DMD until birth, so I am sure it would have been a very long and stressful pregnancy waiting to find out. Now that I know it's a girl, a bunch of weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Still working on the name, have some choices lined up but are always up for suggestions. I have a feeling I am not going to be able to decide on a name until I meet her!
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